The rain blurred the highway to streaks of red color and rainbow-hued markers. Once he reached the edge of the highway, he paused to catch his breath and survey his surroundings.
The highway led north to the big city and met other highways along the way, though it was unchallenged in its preeminence. Other than the aggressive traffic, which really should have slowed for the weather conditions, it was a typical weekend day. The cars were on their way home from the giant amusement park and were eager to end the day.
Now that he was finally here, he could relax a little. Suicide was still on the table, which made him kind of sad, but there was nothing he could do. His life was a blurred mess of distractions, upsets and disappointments that kept circling around his head like a voracious shark looking for more. While he was being circled, he kept count of the shark’s circlings. It must have been 20 to 50 circlings, or more.
What puzzled him most was how he had gotten here. At first it had seemed like a good life. All the baggage that he carried had only been instilled in the last year or so; before that, he had been on autopilot, smooth sailing all around. But now he was suffering too much to go on.
The rain grew heavier still, if that was possible. The air got chill. The skies overhead were a turbulent gray, misty and forbidding. Somehow it was possible to get out of this mess, and suicide was the answer.
The man stepped out into the fast lane of traffic…
Rather shocking but good
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This text reminded me of the will to power. I was talking to my cousin about this the other day. This desire for death… it is a will to power, a will to dominate something, to have control. In this case, it’s about having control over your own destiny, over something, over anything, even if that thing is just how things end. That’s why I also like Schopenhauer. This will is not rational, you know?
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