Colin McFadden worked late nights at the comic store. It was open 24 hours, because a significant portion of its clientele worked the night shift. Sometimes a security guard or a male nurse would come in during lunch hour, in the middle of the night, and buy a Batman or an Image Comics offering.

One night a vampire came calling. He didn’t try to hide it; when he smiled, his incisors were incredibly long and sharp, like a shark’s teeth, and he was so pale he was dead white. The vampire introduced himself to Colin.

“I am going to suck your blood,” he said. “Unless you can stop me. Any last requests?”

“I have AIDS,” Colin said promptly.

The vampire paled even further. He raised both hands before him. “A spoiled meal!” the vampire cried. “Don’t ever use that disease’s name in my presence again!”

And the vampire fled, leaving Colin to enjoy the night’s silence in peace.