It’s up to each of us to seek our own happiness. You can find happiness anywhere. Even if there’s some bad shit in your life, happiness can rise up and overwhelm the negativity easily.

If you have a good attitude, are optimistic and positive, you will find happiness more easily. If you complain about everything and fit in nowhere, you will be brooding and dark, and no one will want to be around you.

I have a good attitude and am optimistic. I find something good in almost everything. A meal in the food court at the mall is a celebration. A lucky find on the internet is a revelation. A book that doesn’t bore me is a thrilling experience. Even when I am sending texts to Storm, I am happy.

The pain that I’ve experienced for the past two weeks has put a damper on my happiness but not eliminated it completely. I’m getting better; things are getting better. Gradually, day by day, there’s more happiness. I like watching the pigeons in the downtown urban park. I like hearing average people talk and shoot the shit and play music out there. I like seeing and experiencing new things. I especially like when the levels of hate recede in me and the good vibes come out.

I recognize that I have a dark side that has to be managed. I cannot indulge it and let it take over. Sometimes I feel like Adolf Hitler, seething with rage and burning with cruel brutality. A moderate measure of this is okay, and helps power one through the difficulties of life. But too much of it is just a buzzkill and eats away at one’s inner tranquility. I have been working on my dark side of late and successfully damping down the negative effects that threaten to spill over. Rather than see my hard life as a painful affair, I view it (accurately) as an adventure that few get to go on. The future is unclear, and I choose to view that as a positive thing. I’m happy about where I’m going.