Sometimes you have someone in your life who really wants to change, but just can’t bring themselves to go through the whole way. What do you do then?

It depends on how much the person in question matters to you. Recognize, first, that change is a long-term process. If you’re not willing to invest the time and energy in the other person, you’re going to have to cut them loose and walk away from them.

But if you are willing to stick around a little longer, persistence and dynamite are the keys. Persistence in the sense that you keep coming back to the person, time and time again, relating to them, encouraging them, making sure they know you’re there. Dynamite in the sense that you have to do something drastic socially to get the person moving. If they’re a cat lady with 12 cats, you may have to kidnap the cats and get rid of them to break the woman’s habit. Dynamite. If the woman is resistant to sex, you may have to be more aggressive than you would feel comfortable with to convince her to open up to you.

All actions that lead to successful outcomes require creativity and aggression. There’s no other way around it.

Women are bigger problems than men. I find that women are more reluctant to leave their comfort zone, have less mental flexibility, and are, basically, just plain bigger cowards. With a man, at least, he’s willing to fess up he has a problem. A woman will often dodge around the question, taking it as a personal slight on her character.

Few women are worth investing time and energy in. If there’s a bonus prize waiting, then it may be worth the consideration. For a typical relationship, you should just walk away. But if she has something special in store — which is possible — press her consistently and with pressure, leading to a changed mindset.

One thing women have going for them is gratitude. If you help a woman out, she will remember it, and appreciate it. A man is more fickle in this department. Some men will take the help you have to dole out and improve — and then run away, leaving you empty-handed. A woman isn’t likely to do that.

Why don’t people change on their own? Sometimes, it seems insurmountable to make the necessary internal changes, and you need a big helping hand from outside to lift you up. Intelligence helps here. If you have a keen eye and mind, you can detect what is wrong and what needs to be done to fix the situation.

The goal of every change-maker is to make the necessary changes with the minimum time and effort invested. Cut corners if you have to. As in all things, consider cheating. Stage dramas to get to the other person’s core being. Cheat, once again. Be deceptive. Imply that you’re going to be leaving them if they don’t wise up. Make it clear that you are the important one, and your needs must be met.

Sometimes there’s no other way.