Nobody truly cares for anybody else in this society, except for minor exceptions that happen to please them in the moment. Even family bonds are tenuous. Without going into detail in my personal life, when did you last feel you could trust a friend with your life, a family member with your back, a computer screen with your truest of feelings?
None-ever, that’s when.
If there was ever a time when beautiful society bloomed like a rose, it was during the hunter-gatherer age. We need to return to techno-barbarism, keeping the gadgets and idols we’ve developed (everything from Billy Idol’s Cyberpunk album to the satellites which handle GPS), but dislodging the puerile moralism designed to encompass and keep at bay the disparate elements of a flying-apart, highly atomized society.
I was up this morning before 5 o’clock with the sounds of big birds making their honking noises. Then I went back maybe half an hour and woke up to pee and try to shit. Today, I didn’t have to “go” until 11:00.
I think my internal wiring is resetting like a computer — rewriting the damage that my mother did to me when I was a baby. That’s what I think. Twice in the past two years I’ve found a lonely spot in public in which to vomit up food or liquid and then jerk-spasm out of control.
I should have a new home at the Regal Hotel in a few days, perhaps several days. The Jealous One attacked me twice a day or two ago. Once knocking one of my two glasses of milk over in a sliding tray, once hitting me on a bike she was (supposedly) riding. Never mind; I don’t get it either.
The time to become dominant is when my abilities are at their greatest. Then I can drop in on people in society at random, like a pebble striking the surface of a vast lake, leaving behind only ripples that quickly fade.
I believe in myself. 4:47 pm. I’m going to go look at paperback books now. I think I’m going to practice writing a novel instead. Yes! Let’s write!